Doing it wrong

A reader sent me a question today on a subject I know oh so well: The fear of doing it wrong.
“It” being spiritual practice, of course.
Back when I first started meditating, I could never get over the idea that I was doing it wrong—and that thought filled me with anxiety. And since I was pretty sure heightened anxiety was not what I was supposed to be feeling during meditation…well that just proved the point. I must have been doing it wrong. Right?
Well no. Not really. It just took time and some very determined practice to get past the stage where my ego mind could keep blocking out all peace by shouting its messages of failure.
The aforementioned reader talks about trying a form of meditation and visualization mentioned by Gary Renard in The Disappearance of the Universe. It involves picturing a circle of light, and then allowing that light to expand freely. It’s a beautiful meditation that’s all about Oneness with Heaven.
Except she don’t see no light. And she’s therefore sure she’s doing it wrong.
See, this is the main thing to keep in mind: Every human being is 100% equipped to join with Heaven in perfect peace and Love, exactly as we are right now. No ‘extra’ abilities are needed. And it doesn’t even matter whether we want to be equipped for it or not. Perfect divine Love is what we are, and we really have no say in it.
Oh sure, it’s fun to be ‘spiritually talented.’ To see visions and hear voices and dance in waves of celestial woo-woo. But it isn’t necessary. And it’s no reliable yardstick of spiritual advancement, either. It’s just a talent, like juggling or whistling is a talent. And just like juggling or whistling, the ungifted can practice assiduously until they’re pretty skilled at it too, just like the ones who came by those gifts naturally.
So, Dearest Reader, this is my message to you:
So you don’t see lights when they tell you you’re supposed to. No biggie. Concentrate instead on the important part: Do your best to feel the Love and the gentle expansion of freedom that is the true point of that meditation. If you can get focused enough to ignore your ego mind’s critique of your meditation skills, I’m willing to bet you’ll begin to feel that endless Love.
And if you don’t? Ask for Help, and then keep trying it until you do. You’ll get there, guaranteed.
Because no spiritual master who ever walked the Earth has anything on you. You’re the complete package, the real deal. You just don’t remember it yet.
(endless) Love,

2 Replies to “Doing it wrong”

  1. Dear Carrie,
    I enjoyed listening to your interview with Gary Renard last night. I was one of the persons who could not get through with a question due to technical difficulties. Thank you for answering my question on your blog this evening. I was just doing my ACIM lesson for the end of the day when I heard my e-mail ring. Finished up and checked the computer, only to find a note from my sister directing me to your blog with an answer to my meditation question. I remember being very happy to hear Gary say on his tapes just 5 minutes morning and evening with the “joining” meditation would be enough. Yippee! I never felt like a successful meditator–gave up on a regular basis. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of just doing my best, even when it doesn’t feel like enough–and for reminding me that I’m the complete package, the real deal. Always a bit hard to take in, but nice to be reminded. Hope the new book outline is going well!
    Love, Ginnie

  2. The reminders are what I’m here for! We all need ’em sometimes.
    Take care, & keep up the good work.

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