I thought it might be fun to share with you a snippet of the creative process from the 3 years I spent writing, editing and polishing this book.
Lots of perfectly good essays did not make the final cut. Usually it was either because they didn’t move the overall story along, or because they illustrated a lesson that was already covered elsewhere in the book.
This piece was one of my early favorites, and I was kinda sorry to see it go. It begins with a diary entry taking place shortly after the Dinnertable Awakening, and I’ve just quit my Buddhist practice of 20 years:
ON FOLLOWING THE LEADER
July 23, 2005
It still feels a little like freefall. Or no—not freefall, exactly. More like I leapt off a cliff without my Buddhist practice to protect me, and am now floating gently suspended in midair. Destination unknown.
Although I have no idea where I’m headed, I do know this: It’s time for me to chart my own course, to stop being a follower of the teachings of an enlightened human being.
Any enlightened human being.
Nothing against the teachers or their teachings—but ever since that brief taste of direct spiritual communion back in May, I can’t escape the feeling that human words are just a collection of inadequate symbols, wholly unsuited to the task of expressing the living truth of spiritual experience. Even the most gifted communicator, the most eloquent and enlightened teacher, can function only as a finger pointing at the truth; it’s impossible for them to transmit the truth itself.
I’m sure they would if they could. An enlightened teacher surely must know the perfect, glorious truth in all its fullness, yet would have no direct way of passing that knowledge on to others. Because spiritual truth can only be experienced firsthand.
_______________
I was deeply grateful for all the pointed fingers that had brought me to this point; those enlightened teachings were exactly what I’d needed. But hard as it was to bid farewell to my Buddhist practice, I knew I had done the right thing. Having briefly experienced my own glimmer of firsthand communion, I knew I could never again content myself with gazing at pointed fingers. Besides, I knew there were definite pitfalls inherent in finger gazing.
Pet lovers might recognize this scenario, which illustrates those pitfalls:
You offer your dog or cat a tasty treat. You show it to her and then toss it in her bowl. She didn’t quite see where the nugget went, so she brings her gaze back to stare expectantly at your hand, thinking you still have it. You point at the bowl; she stares intently at your finger. You gesture and point more emphatically at the bowl…and she watches the moving finger with ever-deepening concentration.
It simply doesn’t occur to her to turn her head to look in the direction the finger is pointing.
In matters of spirit, we’re not so different.
We choose a teacher whose finger points eloquently at the truth—and we stare slack-jawed at the finger. We dress that digit up in jewel-encrusted costumes and set it on a pretty pedestal while the truth waits patiently off to the side in perfect peace, plainly visible if we would only turn our heads to look at it.
You mean that I can’t be fooled by prestidigitation anymore!?? LOL (love those long mysterious words in the dream state).
I find that I listen to Holy Spirit more with my eyes closed…no finger to look at. That works for me!
But I LOVE that Holy Spirit can use ANYthing for His Purpose of getting us to wake up, gently and in perfect pace with where we think we are! Yeah!
Ooooooh! I just noticed that I was ‘sposed’ to make that error so that I could post my second response on your blog exactly at 4:57. (my month and year of birth) HS loves to leave these little ‘signs’ to remind me that I’m perfect just the way I am…in God’s Love, eternally. Yippee Kiyay Kiyo!
*skips joyfully away*
what makes you think this, carrie?
“An enlightened teacher surely must know the perfect, glorious truth in all its fullness, yet would have no direct way of passing that knowledge on to others. Because spiritual truth can only be experienced firsthand.”
how can you be sure that a lit candle cannot light another candle?
hmm. well you’re right, I should only speak from my own experience and understanding.
In my experience the gap between direct spiritual communion and the limitations of all worldly forms of communication is so great as to be unbridgeable. perhaps there are historical examples where it appeared that a lit candle lit another candle, and who am I to say it didn’t happen that way? But I suspect the actual causality of such an event would not be so direct.
Any old thing can cause a mind that’s ready, to remember the truth. Hell, Ramana Maharshi did it as a 5 year old. Perhaps a student, perfectly poised to remember the truth, sought out a master whose single word sparked that memory of Heaven. And so it would appear to an onlooker that the master caused the disciple’s enlightenment. But in reality the truth came from within; the nature of the spark was inconsequential. That would be my theory, anyway. Your guess is as good as mine. If you prefer it the other way,
that’s ok with me too. 🙂
Ramana had his big breakthrough at 17 not 5 years of age. He then went to a holy mountain and hung out there for many years until becoming the Maharshi. Records about Indian gurus are difficult to understand and overly-romanticised. Valuable information is often missing and that makes the journey to enlightenment seem more mysterious than it has to be.
Interestingly, Dave Oshana, started seeking at 5 years of age. But his enlightenment did not come for another 30 years. He speaks clearly about it and the ways to get there. I link to his site above.
Thank you for the correction! You’re right – when I was first told of Ramana’s experiences, I felt daunted for a very long time. I was convinced “people like him” were made of something quite different from “people like me,” because enlightenment was supposedly instantaneous and effortless for him. Very mysterious. 🙂